Mimi Plus Two (The Mimi Chronicles Book 2) Read online

  Praise for Mimi Plus Two

  “The marvelous Mimi is back and ready to face the next stage of her life with comedic grace and charm. A must read!”

  – Barb Valentin, author of Key Change

  “Utterly adorable! Whitney Dineen delivers a funny and heartwarming romantic comedy about having a wedding, having a baby, and having it all.”

  – Brenda Janowitz, author of The Dinner Party

  “Mimi Plus Two races along with a snort and a giggle on every page. An appealing heroine, a great supporting cast…a perfect beach read!”

  – Dee Ernst, author of Stealing Jason Wilde

  “Mimi Plus Two is hilarious, entertaining and insightful—will keep fans of women’s fiction and chick lit engaged to the end.”

  – Reader’s Favorite

  “Whitney Dineen has done it again! Mimi Plus Two is chick-lit at its best with a cast of characters not soon to be forgotten!”

  – Susie Schnall, author of The Balance Project

  “Wedding? With child? No sweat! Mimi’s back with twice the humor, twice the zaniness and all the quirks we’ve grown to love about her.”

  – Book Mama Blog

  “I didn’t think it could get any better, after The Reinvention of Mimi Finnegan. I was wrong! Mimi Plus Two gives us a fantastic, candid look into the larger-than-life world of Mimi, one of the most endearing, hilarious characters ever created. She's the best friend I'd love to have in real life!”

  – Sara Steven, Chick Lit Central

  “Mimi Plus Two is a masterfully entertaining sequel sure to delight! Dineen has expertly crafted a piece that equally encompasses the charm of a romantic comedy and the empowerment of a coming of age saga!”

  – Nicole Waggoner, author of Center Ring

  “Dineen conducts another magic carpet ride! Mimi Pus Two tells the rollicking story of Mimi trying to adjust to life as a newbie millionaire, newbie aristocrat, and newbie mother … all at the same time! And every word is comedic brilliance. From the hyperbolic hijinks of newlywed life to the very visceral vicissitudes of pregnancy, Dineen weaves her story with hilariously inspired prose that keeps you turning the page. You won't want to put this one down, except when you need a sec to catch your breath from all the laughing!”

  – Geralyn Corcillo, bestselling author of Queen of the Universe

  “Chick lit lovers will be entertained by Mimi and her foray into marriage and motherhood. Whitney Dineen delivers a warm and bighearted romantic comedy that makes for a delightful read!”

  – Marilyn Brant, NYT bestselling author of You Give Love a Bad Name

  “Mimi Plus Two will have you laughing out loud & and ignoring life until you read those dreaded words - 'The End'. Absolutely fabulous addition to the series.”

  – Aimee @ Hello…Chick Lit

  “Mimi just gets better and better. Love weddings? Hate pregnancy? Mimi is a must on your beach read list!”

  – Kim Gruenenfelder, author of Keep Calm and Carry a Big Drink

  “With wit and imagination, Whitney Dineen takes her irrepressible heroine Mimi on another wild ride! I ran the emotional gamut with this book, laughing over some scenes and doing the ugly cry over others. Here's hoping the author is planning a trilogy!”

  – Tracie Bannister, author of Twin Piques

  “Mimi Plus Two is a wonderful, funny, entertaining, and heartwarming glimpse into Mimi's life as she becomes a wife, daughter-in-law, and mother. And she accomplishes all that with her great sense of humor and with the love of her family and friends. I really hope that that there will be more stories about Mimi's life—I feel like I have a beautiful friend who I need to visit again.

  – Susan @ The Book Bag

  ALSO BY WHITNEY DINEEN

  She Sins at Midnight

  The Reinvention of Mimi Finnegan

  Middle Reader Books:

  Wilhelmina and the Willamette Wig Factory

  Mimi Plus Two

  Whitney Dineen

  This is a work of fiction. Any references to historical events, real people, or real places are used fictitiously. Other names, characters, places, and events are products of the author’s imagination, as are any resemblance to events, places, or persons.

  Copyright © 2016 Whitney Dineen

  All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise, without the prior permission of the publishers.

  Published in the United States by Kissing Frogs Publications an imprint of Thirty-Three Partners Publishing.

  Library of Congress Cataloguing-In-Publication Data

  Dineen, Whitney

  Mimi Plus Two : a novel / Whitney Dineen.

  First Edition

  This book is dedicated to all the brave women who’ve become mothers. It’s not only the hardest and most rewarding job you’ll ever have, but studies have shown it can also cause insanity.

  Table of Contents

  Chapter 1

  Chapter 2

  Chapter 3

  Chapter 4

  Chapter 5

  Chapter 6

  Chapter 7

  Chapter 8

  Chapter 9

  Chapter 10

  Chapter 11

  Chapter 12

  Chapter 13

  Chapter 14

  Chapter 15

  Chapter 16

  Chapter 17

  Chapter 18

  Chapter 19

  Chapter 20

  Chapter 21

  Chapter 22

  Chapter 23

  Chapter 24

  Chapter 25

  Chapter 26

  Chapter 27

  Chapter 28

  Chapter 29

  Chapter 30

  Chapter 31

  Chapter 32

  Chapter 33

  Chapter 34

  Chapter 35

  Chapter 36

  Chapter 37

  Chapter 38

  Chapter 39

  Chapter 40

  Chapter 41

  Chapter 42

  Chapter 43

  Chapter 44

  Chapter 45

  Chapter 46

  Chapter 47

  Chapter 48

  Chapter 49

  Chapter 50

  Chapter 51

  Chapter 52

  Chapter 53

  Chapter 54

  Chapter 55

  Chapter 56

  Chapter 57

  Chapter 58

  Chapter 59

  Chapter 60

  About the Author

  Sample: She Sins at Midnight

  Acknowledgements

  I have so enjoyed bringing Mimi back for her next adventures; marriage and motherhood. To me, Mimi is my dear friend and soul sister. I can’t wait to spend time with her. While Mimi Plus Two is the second book in the Mimi Adventures, it also reads as a standalone.

  As always, a book never gets written without the support of a great many people. First and foremost I’d like to thank my husband and parents for making my life run as smoothly as possible so I actually have the time to write; being a forty-something mother of two young children can be quite a thrill ride.

  A special thank you to all my author and blogging friends who loved The Reinvention of Mimi Finnegan and encouraged me to continue her journey. I’m blessed to have such a huge support system!

  My biggest gratitude goes to my readers. Without you guys buying my books, I wouldn’t be writing them, so I thank you for helping make my dream come true!

  Chapter 1

  “A mucus plug?” I
ask in horror. “What in God’s name is that?”

  My sister, Ginger, simply smiles and explains, “It’s a necessity in pregnancy. It blocks any foreign matter from entering the cervix and introducing troublesome bacteria. It’s really a wonderful thing.”

  I’m not buying it. “Pregnancy is way more disgusting than I anticipated. I mean seriously, it’s like there’s all this top secret information that doesn’t get shared until it’s too late.”

  My beautiful and brainy sister, only a year older than me, is also in the family way, with triplets no less. She and her husband, a.k.a. my boss, Jonathan Becker, tried in vitro fertilization after months of not being able to conceive. Three humans are currently forming inside her uterus. I’m only harboring one. But you’d think it was fourteen, such is the graceful way I’ve taken to breeding.

  Ginger takes a sip of her “Mommyhood Tea,” which near as I can figure contains every Chinese herb containing a dash of yin, a skosh of yang and a nice dollop of tranquilizer. Ginger is positively glowing, not to mention peaceful. She looks like she’s gestating the next Dalai Lama and his equally Buddha-like siblings. We’re a week apart in the pregnancy game and both at the end of our first trimester. Ginger’s first foray into childbearing has been ideal. She has not been plagued with any of the horrors I have. “Your eyes look a lot better, Meems. How’s the vomiting?”

  The eyes, of which she speaks, are blood red and look like I’ve poured blistering hot sand directly into them. My doctor likened them to the living dead. The nausea has been so bad and I heave with such wild abandon, I’ve been breaking blood vessels at an alarming rate. I’ve taken to wearing sunglasses whenever I leave the house so people don’t suspect a deadly illness or fear that I vant to suck their blood. “Getting a bit better now that I’m taking Reglan for it. I just wish Dr. Fermin prescribed it sooner. Hopefully, they’ll have a chance to revert to normal before the wedding.”

  The wedding would be mine, to the dashing and distinguished, Elliot Fielding. Elliot and I have only known each other for a few months but he snagged my heart the minute I saw him. Okay, maybe not the minute, but well within the first two weeks, possibly three. The PR company I work for signed on to launch Elliot’s next book and in the midst of the proceedings, one thing led to another. We will be married in ten days and I’m more excited than I have ever been about anything. I’m not just marrying him because I’m in the “family way” either. I’m head over heels in love with the guy.

  The only problem is that I haven’t been feeling well enough to help plan the event. I know we will be saying our vows at Our Lady of Peace Catholic Church in Pipsy, the same parish where my parents were married. The reception is going to be held in my sister Renée’s backyard in Hilldale. Her grounds put the Haiku Mill in Maui to shame, so I’ve really hit the jackpot there. I have no idea what the bridesmaid dresses look like because truly, I could give a crap. As an ex-model and famous designer, I’ve left that particular detail up to Renée. My only request is they aren’t brown, yellow or gray. Other than that, I’d rather sleep or vomit than have to be responsible for their wedding attire. Renée is also designing my dress and I have given her carte blanche.

  My mother, Maureen O’Callaghan Finnegan, is choosing the flowers. She has an eye for floral arrangements and I trust her implicitly. She nearly shattered my eardrums when I handed the job over to her, “Meems, NO! This is the best job you could give me!! Do you have any favorites that you want me to include?” I was going to tell her that I would love lily of the valley in my bouquet but the very thought of their delicious aroma upset my stomach to the point I needed to cut the conversation short to puke.

  The one task I was really, really looking forward to participating in was choosing the menu for the reception. The first two times we met with the caterer I became so ill we had to leave. Therefore, I reluctantly let Elliot and his English palate loose on them. I’m hoping he doesn’t order fish and chips and warm beer. Not that it will matter much to me. If I don’t get the retches under control by then, I don’t suppose I’ll be eating anything.

  I am and always have been a wearer of double digits. All three of my sisters hover around the size 6-8 mark. I have not been smaller than a size 12 since I turned thirty, five years ago. I am now a size 10 but only because I can’t seem to keep any food down. It’s the worst diet ever. In fact, I gave up on Weight Watchers on the advice of my doctor. “Mimi,” she instructed, “you can gain 30-40 pounds and be well within the medical bounds for a healthy pregnancy. No dieting for this baby.”

  Another upside of losing weight is that my bunion has nearly vanished. Edith Bunker, so named because she has the same grating voice as Archie’s wife, nagged me into successfully losing fifteen pounds before getting pregnant. Yes, I know a talking bunion doesn’t make me sound very sane, but you have secrets too, so don’t judge.

  “Meems, are you listening to me?” Ginger inquires. “You look like you’re about to pass out.”

  That’s another thing. I’m exhausted all the time. I take at least two naps a day and sleep a good ten hours at night. “Aren’t you even a little pooped?” I ask. “You know most women are dog-tired during the first trimester.”

  Ginger sighs, “I guess I have been a bit more sleepy than normal but I’m so excited to get the nursery ready and read everything I can about triplets, I really don’t want to sleep. I just want to be prepared.

  “Ginger, I may know squat about pregnancy but I do know there won’t be much sleeping going on after those kids of yours hit the planet. You should try to store up.”

  My sister laughs, “I know, I know. Jonathan says the same thing, but after all those months of trying to get pregnant and then signing up with adoption agencies, I just want to be awake and enjoy every moment.” Unlike me, I just want to go lights out and regain consciousness after the baby is born and possibly out of diapers.

  “I’m just going to go upstairs and take a nap here if you don’t mind. I don’t think I can make it home safely.” Ginger assures me it’s fine so I take my shoes off and don’t even try to get up the stairs. I just lie down on the couch and let the sandman take me.

  I fall asleep so hard and fast that within seconds I dream I’m floating in the clouds, all snug and safe holding my baby in my arms. My hair looks fabulous, not the half red, half bacon grease I’m currently sporting. My skin is glowing and the bundle in my arms coos away. Somewhere, cloud adjacent, I hear Jonathan call out Ginger’s name. In my vision, he hugs her for a long moment before saying, “Oh honey, I’m so sorry. Try not to worry.” Then he asks, “Did you tell Mimi?”

  Ginger replies, “How could I? She’s having such a hard time with her own pregnancy. I don’t want her to worry about mine.”

  Chapter 2

  “Mimi, don’t worry, they’ll love you,” assures my charming husband-to-be, as he announces the early arrival of his parents. “They’re just like any other parents.”

  I interrupt, “Perhaps, if those other parents happen to be an earl and countess. God, Elliot, how could you not have told me this before now?”

  He soothes, “Don’t think of them like that. They’re just my mother and father and they will adore you as much as I do.”

  Here’s the thing. I know for a fact I would have loved Elliot and wanted to spend the rest of my life with him, regardless of his pedigree. I just haven’t had much of a chance to come to terms with it. In my head, I was slated to fall in love with a regular sort of guy, maybe a high school football coach or plumber. At any rate, I envisioned him being locally born and raised. We would have pizza on Friday and meatloaf on Wednesday and watch sports at my parents’ house on Sunday. Now, I’m not only marrying an internationally bestselling author but the future Earl of Houndstoothbury on the Thames. That’s not really his title. I’ve just forgotten what it is. Note to self, have Elliot write down his father’s title so I don’t come off like a completely ignorant American.

  “They will be here late tomorrow night and will mee
t us for brunch on Sunday. So you have plenty of time to calm down.” He looks so certain of himself.

  “Oh my God, Elliot, my hair! My appointment isn’t until Tuesday! I have to call Francoise and see if he can fit me in today.” When I met Elliot, my hair color was not blonde and not brunette as much as baby poop in color. In my quest to catch his eye, my flamboyant hair stylist dyed it this fabulous shade of red. And by fabulous, I mean he unleashed the true me. But I’m not supposed to use dye on it for the first trimester. Something to do with my crazed hormone levels and the possibility the color won’t take or will take incorrectly. But this is a crisis. I will risk pink roots so that the Earl and Countess of Upper Snob Hillery won’t be horrified by the first sight of their future daughter-in-law.

  Elliot kisses the top of my head and rubs my shoulders, “Forget about my parents for a moment and tell me how the little mother is doing.”

  Who says things like “little mother?” This is something else that takes some getting used to. While Elliot and I both ostensibly speak English, his is the queen’s variety and mine is more closely related to a scullery maid. I smile and answer, “If by little mother, you mean the starving incubator of your seed, then I’m starving! I miss the cravings and all you can eat food fests. This nausea is for the birds.”

  “Dr. Fermin assures us it won’t be for much longer. Once you feel like eating again, I’ll take you out for every meal and fill you up with whatever your heart desires. How does that sound?”